Nigeria comprises of a number of ethnic groups, but three of those groups say they’re the majority, permit me to name them according to the ‘Wa, Zo, Bia’ greetings common to each of them- Yoruba, Hausa, and Igbo.

And they leave the other groups with the minority status to share to their taste. The minority groups therefore needs the support of so-called majority groups to get on: particularly, in politics, but the social, economic, religious, and other ratings are rather based on chance.

In schools, offices, and other public places, there’s this ‘no association clause’ in the minds of some people whatever their ethnic leanings. Certain group of people tends to avoid persons from particular ethnic groups simply they don’t just want to associate with them on grounds of known behaviors, mother tongue, appearance, historical stories, etc. What a funny setup.

When asked an Igbo man who a Yoruba man is, the first thing he says is ‘Ndi ofe mmanu’, meaning ‘those with oily soup’. The Yoruba man’s view of the Igbo man is ‘Aje okuta ma mu omi’, that is, ‘he who eats stony food without water’, while Hausa man says of the Igbo ‘Yammiri’, which means water in Igbo language and the Igbo man returns his name calling of the Hausas as ‘Ndi nama’ which translates as ‘those who own or sell animals’. Just laugh it off, no bad feelings intended.

We are too suspicious of ourselves in this country. When a Yoruba man sneezes, the Igbo man or Hausa misunderstood it for another thing. Same reaction is expected, if either the Igbo or Hausa man gives off an action. Other major ethnic groups are apprehensive of the Igbos, who have not had equal share of the presidential seat like the other groups, for reasons only known to the ‘kingmakers’, permit me to use the word. Just laugh it off.

An average Igbo man is a business-minded person. Heard of an Igbo man daring any situation just for money-making purposes. Even in war zones, an Igbo man would have something to sell for money. Go to Alaba, an outskirt of Lagos, Igbos have colonized it, selling all sorts. You’ll sure get various shapes and sizes of fake and original too. Yaba, in the pre-demolition era, ‘bend-down-select’ was the order of the day, and Igbo boys were having a smooth sail then. Second hand clothes made waves at the time, as it is today. As it was in the beginning so it is now and forever it shall be. Then we don’t need to think too much or the price or distance, the Igbo guys are on ground with mounds of clothes from Jankara or wherever. What about Apapa, FESTAC town, Ladipo- Osodi, etc? The I…g…b…o…s are there! Just laugh it off.

No thanks to Fashola who asked Igbo residents in Lagos to come and collect fare for a valedictory journey to their native states of origin if they cannot abide by the rules of the game, as dictated by his government. Had the repatriation agenda succeeded, the ‘Nnas’ or ‘okoros’ as we call them would have been a scarce commodity in the state. But that has become story today. Isn’t this humorous, then why not laugh it off.

A typical Hausa man works as a petty trader and/or security man with dagger perfectly tied to his underwear or wherever he deems fit. They need not wait for anyone to shout ‘thief! thief!, …! And, before the third call out, you hear ‘where I dey danboro uba sege! The Hausa man is waiting for a kill of a lifetime. In those growing days, one hardly see anyone fight with a Hausa man. It’s not common. Why? You already know the answer. LOL!

Buying things from a newly-imported Hausa man from the north was an experience worth having. The no-nothing Hausa trader may over-balance you when you purchase anything from him. May be they found it hard identifying the value of each note, but this we are sure. The note bearing Muritala’s and Yar’adua’s picture interest them more than any other. And returning balance more than the required amount was a common phenomenon. They made sales but most of it went back to their customers in excess balance. But now, they have sharpened their senses and can defraud you if you’re not careful. They’re now on revenge at the Bureau De Change, where control most of the exchanges done outside the conventional banks. If you know you collected from them in the past unduly, it is time to return it. This is just for laughing sake o, no bad feelings at all.

Yorubas, on their part are party-riders. No surprise they easily get the identification as party people. A typical Yoruba woman or man may forgo children’s school fees or rent just to get Aso Ebi (party uniform) no matter the cost. Who cares! Less I forget, when an elderly dies, that’s when you see cows of different shapes and sizes mooing around for the sake of killing and eating, nothing more. Just laugh it off the more.

More still on the way…