Friendship is one of the most rewarding kinds of relationships that you could have with another human being. This is because it doesn’t come along with the coldness of a business partnership nor does it have the emotional blows that could accompany a romantic relationship and other such things. However, as happy and potentially productive as it can be, there might be times when you’ll need to reevaluate your friendship with someone.
It might be sad, but it is completely necessary, especially when you start seeing some disconcerting signs. That is the point of this article. So, here are five distinct signs that you might need to reevaluate your friendship, and maybe move on:
Inability to resolve conflict
This is coming at the top because it can be a major pain in the neck. Now, don’t get it wrong. When you and your friend find yourselves constantly arguing, this might not actually be a problem. However, when those fights continue to linger without the other person showing any willingness to change, you might want to sit back and reevaluate.
A shift in values
Now, it is perfectly normal for people to change over time. As a matter of fact, it is a widely known fact that the only constant thing in life is change. As such, we should be able to tolerate people moving from one dimension to another as humans. However, when the change comes in the form of a shift in values such that the other person is entirely different from what they used to be, you might need to have a rethink. For example, if after one too many heartbreaks, your friend becomes misogynistic and starts to disrespect and disregard women, it is definitely not a good type of change.
An imbalance of effort
A friendship is a relationship between two or more people. By its very nature, it is meant to comprise of equal efforts from every party. However, if you find yourself constantly doing more than the other person, then the relationship is imbalanced. This is even worse if you try to point it out, and the other person still makes no change. Now, you shouldn’t do favours expecting things in return. When we say “effort,” we are referring to such immaterial things as communication. But, when your friend intentionally doesn’t put in the same amount of effort into things like that, it is a sign of selfishness, and it is borderline narcissistic. So, reevaluate.
A continuous disrespect of boundaries
Boundaries represent our dos and don’ts. They are the things that guide how people should relate with us and to a large extent, they are pretty sacred. In a friendship, they are meant to be honoured equally by both parties. If you, for example, hate it when someone else speaks disrespectfully about or to your woman, your friend should refrain from doing so. No matter how funny it might seem, they shouldn’t make a habit of making jokes about your woman, her sexuality, and other such things. If this line is constantly disrespected with no remorse, regardless of how assertive you are, you should reevaluate.
This one could come physically, sexually, or even emotionally. It represents the height of a negative relationship between two or more people. As such, you cannot condone it. Now, it is not exactly abuse if your friend teases you or gives you a friendly punch on the shoulder. Virtually all men do that. However, when/if they start getting particularly violent with words, fists, and they even try to get sexual, reevaluate!
Your friends represent some of your strongest social pillars. They have the potential to make and mar you. If the latter happens to be the case, reevaluate your friendship with them.