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Men’s Talks

How to Escape the Yoke of Self-Condemnation

What do you do when comparison sneaks in suddenly, and you find yourself wishing you were someone else? What do you do when you’re overcome with feelings of self-deprecation?

Self-condemnation is destructive. It is forgivable when one is condemned or derided by others, but it becomes a grave issue when one condemns oneself. Self-condemnation is wide-ranging, convicting, and defeatist. It leads back to self: “Try harder and do better.” You can make lists of action points, write sticky notes to remind yourself of those action points, and vow to change yourself, but you’ll only end up right back where you started — awash in guilt and condemnation.

The first in the process of growth is self-awareness. However, as you dig out yourself, searching and mining for treasures in you, you will not but find debris and wastes that will make you puke. These blackspots are the roots of self-condemnation. Note. You index what would be the emphasis of your biographer: either your waste or your fertility. If you spend your life moaning over your wasted life, opportunities, friendship, time, and gifts, you give the world no other choice than to throw you out as garbage.

Life is like food substances in the stomach. No matter how sweet or bitter it is, it breaks into both nutrients and waste materials. We all seem to care less about how much excreta is eliminated from the body, if there is growth. You know how uneasy life becomes when you keep those stuffs in your bladder or rectum. So, why inflame your bowels with the wastes in your life when you’ve got enough nourishment needed for growth in life.

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Grasp this! Every tale shall be told. It’s not important how courteous you are by avoiding hurting yourself or others with your waste; the weightier matter is how you have managed your growth by letting go of your failure, mistakes, truancy and misfortunes.

Truthfully, we are not good enough. We goof and flop in many ways. Show me a perfect man? So, looking to yourself to overcome self-condemnation won’t bring about the best result. How then can we put off self-condemnation?

The Bible speaks about being joyful always, counting trials as blessings, loving enemies, putting the needs of others always above our own, and many more healthy qualities. But are these qualities sufficient in tackling self-condemnation ? No! Though these are also needed in the journey of life, it’s important to first establish our lives on God. It is foolishness to try to exempt God from life. He created it, and He lords over it. The closer man is to God, the more liberated he feels from the pains and hurts of self-condemnation.

Your first determination or decision is to let God into whatever situation you must battle with. This inspires strength, joy, faith, focus, persistence into our hearts to face the giants.

To find this joy, we need help. Instead of cycling back to vows and self-effort, we must learn to look at our insufficiencies and then add two words on the end of them: “But God” or “But Christ”.

Speak good things to yourself!

I was spiritually dead in my sin, but God has made me spiritually alive.

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I cannot live the Christian life by self-effort, but Christ gladly lives in me. I live by faith, not self-effort.

There are things I will not be good at, but God has created and called me to joyfully serve him in specific ways.

Though this is impossible in the human wisdom and strength, but with God all things are possible.

I am weak, but with God I am strong.

Though I don’t look attractive to people, but God has fearfully and wonderfully made me.

I am poor, but God will provide for me.

When you are down, don’t keep looking down. Look up and see the day break upon you.

Stay happy always.


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