All over the world, men are known to be more likely to lose their temper, compared to the womenfolk. However, research has shown that one can tame one’s temper if one has a genuine intention to so do.
The following are some suggestions on how men can tame their temper.
1. Always think before you speak
One fact that is very glaring is that in the heat the moment, it is always very easy to make statements that one would later regret. It is therefore imperative for you as a man, to reason for a few moments to recollect your thoughts before making any statement. You should even go further to allow others involved in the matter to do the same.
2. Do nothing when you are angry
Another lesson to be learnt here is to be calm before letting out one’s disaffection for a situation. As a man, immediately you begin to think very clearly, you can then express your displeasure over an issue in an assertive and non-confrontational manner. Let your concerns and needs be clearly and directly known without causing injury to others or attempting to control them.
3. Embark on physical exercise
Physical exercise is another way of taming one’s temper. This is because it assists in reducing stress that can result into anger. Where it is observed that your anger is getting higher, it is most often advised that such a man should embark on what is termed a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a short break
Here, it is important that men should learn to give themselves short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. In other words, short periods of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to take charge of what is ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Look for solutions
Rather than place serious attention on what would trigger annoyance, it is better to apply strength on what would bring about solution to the issue at hand. For instance, in a situation where your son messes up his room, it is suggested that the door of the affected room is closed, where your wife is late for dinner every night, the appropriate thing to do, is to schedule meals later in the evening, or better still, have an agreement to eat on your own few times a week. Always remind yourself, that anger will not in any way bring about solution to any crisis.
6. Stick with ‘I’ statements
By this, and in order to avoid placing criticism or blame which could lead to increased tension, it is better to use “I” statements to describe the problem. Here, a man should show respect and specifics. For instance, he says, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes,” instead of, “You never do any housework.”
7. Desist from bearing grudge
Forgiveness is important and remains a major tool for resolving crisis. Where a man allows anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, he may have himself swallowed up by his own bitterness or sense of injustice. However, if such a man can forgive someone who angered him,they might both learn from the situation. It is not realistic to think that everyone should behave exactly as you want at all times.
8. Apply humour to ease tension
One factor that can help diffuse tension is lightening one’s self. Also, apply humour to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. However, it is important that we avoid sarcasm— it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practise relaxation
Anytime your temper rises, take deliberate actions to put yourself in relaxation mode. Practise deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
It could be challenging to learn how to control anger in some situations. When such situations arise, it is advisable to consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control and causes you to do things you regret or things that hurt those around you.