Not many people care to admit this. But if you choose to look at it closely, you’ll realize that it can actually be a bit difficult to show love to your children equally. This is caused by several factors ranging from personality traits to the level of helpfulness around the home and several other things.
However, regardless of what factors might influence it, you need to be able to show love to your children equally. It is your responsibility as a parent for a number of reasons.
For starters, if you don’t, you risk causing intense sibling rivalry, which could generate a rift between the children. Alongside that, you really don’t want a child who grows up with the mindset that her parents did not love her the way they loved the other person. A mindset like that can be crippling in the child’s adult life.
So, while it can be challenging, you need to learn how to show love to your children equally. How? Let’s see:
Spend quality time with each of them
Now, if one kid sees you always playing with the other kid and never giving them the time of day, it would most definitely pass the wrong message. It would be even more traumatic for him/her if s/he makes efforts to be with you, and you turn them down subtly or directly.
So, as much as you can, spend quality time with your kids. Engage in activities that you can both enjoy and have genuine discussions along the way. If, for important reasons, you have to prioritize one child over another, explain to the others when they try to come to you.
Show that you love them by speaking their language of love
Different people have different languages of love. These languages govern how we interpret gestures from others. Some would rather receive gifts, and some might want you to provide words of affirmation on occasion. Find out what your child truly wants. Even if it involves getting into a discussion with them, do so. This will help you to connect with them on a level that s/he can truly appreciate.
Acknowledge and praise their uniqueness
Not all your children are going to be the same. In fact, apart from biological factors, your children are quite likely to be polar opposites. However, this doesn’t necessarily make one better than the other. If one of them has attributes that are similar to yours, it doesn’t make him or her the best of them. You need to believe and act based on this belief.
So, praise the distinct qualities that make them different. If one of them enjoys sports, just like you did back in the day, while the other prefers reading, appreciate both of them for it. It will go a long way in helping you show love equally.
When it comes to parenting, there isn’t a perfect handbook that details every step you should take. Even with all these strategies, your child might still feel a bit left out every now and then. Don’t beat yourself up. Keep practicing and keep trying.