1. Verbally tell her that you love her
It’s amazing how many men are afraid to share their feelings. It’s even more startling to think about how many men never share their feelings with the one person they should be most comfortable with. Men, your wives need to hear the words, “I love you.” No, it’s not enough to assume she already knows you love her, neither is it enough to tell her “I love you” only in bed. In fact, if you haven’t told her lately – or have never told her before – it is likely that she doesn’t think you love her at all. Men, go to your wife this very day, turn her to face you, and say to her, “I love you.” This is the first step in the happy journey of ways to be a better husband. Try some creative/imaginative ways to tell your wife how much you love her. Before long you’ll realise that you love her more.
Here are some tips:
- Slip a card or love note into her purse at the beginning of the day.
- Figure out obscure anniversaries (first date, engagement day, the day we moved into our first house etc.) and then make a big deal of celebrating together.
- Leave loving answering machine messages when you know she’s not going to be there.
- Make the bed and put a rose on her pillow.
- Run a bubble bath for her and keep the house interruption-free while she enjoys it.
2. Help around the house
Doing things around the house shows your wife that you care for her. That is the way ladies look at it. So once in a while, get off the couch and pick something up. Studies have shown that the average woman spends 10 more hours each week doing housework than her husband does. Excessive housework and other stress-inducing activities can attribute to decreased sexual desire and aging in women. Help balance out the workload by doing some dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, handling repairs, or simply picking up your socks. Even if your schedule doesn’t leave extra time to do chores around the house, there’s no excuse to not clean up your own mess. The least you can do is wash your own dishes, put your clothes away, and take care of your own laundry.
The key is to help out around the house even when you have not explicitly been asked to do so. Remember that it is as much your obligation as it is your wife’s to keep the house clean and in shape. Also, if you have children, help your wife by offering to pick the kids up from school, or watch them when she is busy, etc.
Open and honest communication is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship, and it is the key to building trust. Without proper communication, simple misunderstandings can turn into full-fledged fights. Keep your relationship strong and avoid excessive arguing by simply expressing yourself in a calm manner on a regular basis.
Here are a few tips to improve your communication:
- Discuss issues as they come up rather than bottling them up and growing resentful over time.
- Learn how to be diplomatic during arguments. Try not to get overly defensive if your wife is being critical of you. Similarly, try not to sound accusatory or angry when bringing up issues with her.
- Listen to her. Being a good communicator isn’t just about knowing how to talk. It’s important to give your wife your undivided attention when she is speaking. Look her in the eyes, ask her questions, and don’t look at your telephone or computer screen if she’s speaking about something important.
- If you are in a bad mood for any reason, then tell her explicitly rather than ignoring her or being short tempered with her. This way, she can give you the space you need without taking your attitude personally.
Remember that you and your wife are not mind readers. If you have an issue – discuss it! If you are unhappy – voice it maturely! The key is to communicate effectively without getting upset and frustrated.
4. Be willing to compromise
A healthy relationship is a two-way street. Over the course of your marriage, you will inevitably have to give up certain things to make her happy, and vice versa. If one of you is constantly giving in to the other’s demands without any reciprocation, there will likely be some resentment down the road.
5. Your answer isn’t the only one that matters
When making important decisions ask your wife’s opinion and include her in the decision making process. Be it a household purchase or a parenting issue, involve your wife. Her opinion is just as important as yours.