Over the years, one thing that has caused a bit of disruption in the scientific/intellectual world is the concept of the alpha male. It is not quite as furious as the debate on climate change, global warming, and all the other big players at the scientific roundtable. However, it is still enough for a reputed outlet like the Guardian to write about it.

Now, do not get it confused. People do believe in the existence of alpha males. In the animal kingdom, the phrase is often attributed to the male animals that are particularly dominant among a group of their species. Examples include the silverback gorilla and the alpha wolf in a pack. These males are usually the leaders of the pack, and they get to that position through a simple, but sometimes, brutal display of strength, authority, and power. 

While there is no dispute as to whether or not alpha males exist, the bone of contention is whether they exist in human societies or not. Even though there is hardly any scientific evidence to corroborate it, people still attribute the phrase to an individual who possesses certain characteristics.

What is the alpha male?

More often than not, when you type in the above enquiry on the web, you’ll be met with the definition that states that an alpha male is a man who is dominant and assertive. He is brash, loud, does what he wants and does not care what anyone thinks. He is attractive, never afraid of confrontation, and self-development is a never-ending process for him. So much so that he never allows himself to get weak enough to be defeated by another person. Regarding the opposite sex, he gets all the ladies.

The direct opposite of an alpha male is a beta male. He is afraid of confrontation; he is an average Joe and bends quite easily to others’ will. You might not find this on the internet. But, quite a number of people believe the beta male to be that guy who is particularly feminine. He would rather sit at home dancing than going out to play football and drink with the boys. He never really gets the girls and always has to settle.

The Problem

It is not hard to see that many of the alpha males’ traits are quite desirable. I mean, who doesn’t want to be attractive and get all the girls. Even if you don’t really care about getting women, it would still be particularly nice to be able to assert dominance at will.

Unfortunately, the issue with this label is that it presents unrealistic expectations of and for men. It sets them on a pedestal, refusing to acknowledge all the peculiarities that come along with individuals. If this school of thought proliferates, you’ll end up getting a bunch of aspiring tough guys, bullies, and people who are consistently the underdogs.

The Solution

Indeed, we cannot overlook the problems attached to the label of the alpha male. However, that is not to say that there is absolutely nothing you can do to make the most out of the concept. So, perhaps a redefinition and repurposing of the concept would be in order. 

If you’ve ever wanted to be an alpha male, the key is to be the alpha of your own life. Be in control. Refuse to be bullied into submitting to another person’s way of thinking. You are not less of a man because you’d rather spend time talking to your family than drinking alcohol with the boys at rowdy clubs.

If the lady rejects you, it doesn’t decrease your worth. It simply means she wasn’t interested, and eventually, you’ll find someone else. The list goes on and on, but to be a true alpha male, stay true to yourself, be independent in your opinion and be assertive about it.