Several articles and books have been written on the Proverbs 31 woman, the woman that the Bible refers to as the virtuous woman.
I love what the Bible says about this virtuous woman and I have used it several times to counsel many of my female clients/subscribers.
Each time I read and meditate on the story of the virtuous woman, I don’t fail to pay attention to what was said about her husband. I envy that man and I want to learn from what was said about him. If you would imbibe the qualities that the husband of the virtuous woman was said to possess, then you would have a virtuous wife. It’s that simple.
I will be sharing with you in this article what the Holy Spirit helped me to discover about the husband of the virtuous woman. Apart from the unnamed woman in Proverbs 31, Ruth is the only woman in the Bible who is specifically described as a virtuous woman. So we will also be learning from Boaz, the husband of Ruth.
From Proverbs 31, the following things are said about the husband of the virtuous woman:
1. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil (verse 11).
If you want a virtuous woman, you must have a heart that trusts. It is not all men that can trust a woman but a man who is born again has a heart that can trust (a heart of flesh, not a heart of stone). So the husband of the virtuous woman is a born again man. Boaz the husband of Ruth, the virtuous woman, was from the tribe of Judah and we know that Judah’s descendants are people of God.
The virtuous woman has a God-fearing husband just like she’s God-fearing and her husband’s heart trusts safely in her. You need to be God-fearing if you want a virtuous woman. You need to have a cordial relationship with God and keep his commandments. It is God that can give you a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Every man born of a woman has a deceitful and desperately wicked heart (Jeremiah 17:9) but any man who has given his life to Christ has a new heart (a heart of flesh).
2. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land (Verse 23).
The husband of the virtuous woman is a leader, a man of influence and great impact. He’s a purposeful man. He is well known in the city. A virtuous woman is not meant for just any man. Such women are meant to be helpers to men of vision and purpose who want to make a difference in their world. If you want a virtuous woman, you need to be known wherever you are for your positive impact and great influence. The Bible talks about Boaz’s influence in the city. He even called 10 important men in the city when he was planning to marry Ruth and they obeyed him (Ruth 4:2). The descendants of Judah were leaders. It was from the tribe of Judah that Jesus was born. Jesus is a great leader, a solution provider.
What are you doing to impact the people around you? Do you care about the welfare and progress of the people around you? Are you impacting people positively for God? Are you solving people’s problems or are you the one creating problems for people? You need to start changing your thinking and start living a life of influence and impact if you want a virtuous wife.
3. He calls her blessed and praises her (verse 28 & 29).
The husband of the virtuous woman is a blesser, he celebrates and speaks better things to his wife. He doesn’t curse or say negative things about his wife. I know he usually renews his mind with the Word of God. It takes a man with a renewed mind to say positive things. That means he’s a man of the word. He reads, meditates and practises the word of God. He is also proud of his wife because he praises her. He appreciates and compliments her. If you want a virtuous woman, you must be a man of good words and a blesser, a man who celebrates others especially his wife. Don’t talk down on ladies or see them as inferior to you. You must celebrate them and also celebrate your wife. Boaz said good things about Ruth and treated her with dignity and honour. In fact, it was Boaz that said everyone in the city knew her to be a virtuous woman (Ruth 3:11). So you need to be a man of positive words and praises. Celebrate your wife and sisters. Don’t condemn your wife, celebrate her.
4. A mighty man of wealth (Ruth 2:1).
Looking at the book of Ruth, Boaz was regarded as a man of wealth. He is an employer of labour. He has fields where people work for him and he paid them wages. He solved unemployment in his vicinity. He wasn’t a lazy man. He was a businessman and very wealthy. Boaz’s wealth was from God because we know He’s God-fearing and the bible says it is God that gives power to get wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18). The husband of the virtuous woman is an industrious man. He works and provide for his family. If you want a virtuous wife, don’t be lazy. Be creative and innovative. Be hardworking and be merciful to people.
5. He doesn’t cage his wife.
One of the things I noticed about the virtuous woman is that she does a lot of things and I believe her husband doesn’t cage her in the home. He gives her freedom to fulfil her dreams and purpose. And we can see that in the way she praises her. If you know you want a virtuous wife, don’t limit your wife to the kitchen. Give her freedom and permission to succeed. Even though the virtuous woman was industrious, she was still in charge of her home. She prepares food for her husband and children. She takes care of her family and people working for her. So don’t be scared of releasing her to be her best for God. Support her vision and help her to fulfill God’s purpose for her life.
Dear men, I believe with these few things I have shared, you can now see that the virtuous woman has a great husband. Wives are usually a reflection of their husband. So try and work on yourself. You can have a virtuous wife if only you will permit her to be virtuous.
Thanks for reading.
Tunde Awoyele is a Love and Relationship Coach, a tireless advocate of godly relationship and sexual purity, a writer and a conference speaker. He hosts Relationship Conference tagged SINGLES’ TIME-OUT, a platform through which he equips young adults with the knowledge they need to GET IT RIGHT and DO IT RIGHT in their relationships as they prepare for marriage and family life. You can connect with him on BBM: 55A570C7 or send a mail to letalpage @ gmail.com