Today, we’ll be having the conversation about the rubber and the ring. Even ‘til this day, this topic of sex before marriage is one that remains a bone of contention. On this topic, there are two major schools of thoughts with some supporting the notion and others condemning it. Of course, some are particularly apathetic towards the issue; but apathy isn’t exactly a school of thought.

Now, to answer the question of which should come first between sex and marriage, there are two broad ways you could look at it. You could do so from a religious point of view or from a purely logical point of view, uninfluenced by beliefs or doctrines from others.

Religious POV

Looking at it from this point of view (POV) is a bit hard because there are multiple religions, even in Nigeria alone. They are so much so that we can hardly touch all of them. As such, we’ll be focusing our answer on the two most widely practised in the country – Christianity and Islam.

Now, in Christianity, the rules are pretty clear. You aren’t meant to fornicate, and you shouldn’t commit adultery either. The latter is even spelt out vividly in one of the Ten Commandments as seen in the book of Exodus.

In Islam, the rules are virtually the same. Any sexual relationship outside of marriage is forbidden and would attract consequences. As such, if you’re a true follower of either of these religions, premarital sex should be a huge no for you.

Non-religious POV

However, if you choose to look at the topic of the rubber or the ring differently, what the law preaches is that there should be consent and it should be between two adults. Outside of that, according to the laws of the land, there is nothing wrong with premarital sex. But does that really make it right? Is it really the best line of action?

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If you choose to look at it only from the non-religious point of view, you should know that:

  1. The more people you have sex with, the more likely you are to contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI). Of course, there are condoms to protect you, but condoms are ineffective against such infections as herpes, syphilis, and genital warts.
  2. You could accidentally impregnate her and be forced to have an unwanted baby. You might want to think of contraceptives now; but you should know that no contraceptive is 100% guaranteed to work and, as at the time of writing this piece, abortion is illegal in Nigeria.
  3. If you misunderstand/misconstrue the lady’s consent, there’s a strong chance you’ll get accused of rape, and this would damage you in more ways than one.

Now, considering all these, would you still say that premarital sex is the best option? As far as human laws are concerned, you are free to do whatever you want. But, I’d implore you to think about it carefully. Is a 5-second orgasm really worth the possibility of jail, unwanted babies, and STDs? If not, why not just wait until marriage?